i need u

It been awhle i keep ask myself what i need and what i want. And now im sure with my feeling.

1. I really need you. i need you more than anything else. this is for sure, i can hide it, i can denied it, i can pretend that i dont need you. but when i look deep insde me, i need u most.

2. I wish to hve u bck as my dearest. sometime i feel w/o u i can stand alone. but whn i get into hard time.. i need ur support the most.

3. I still want to love you more. that is for sure. i nvr doubt bout loving u.

4. I'm the 1 cant let go. cant let go of u. I'm afraid of loosing u.

也許..... 你我都在「偽裝」 ♡

明明很想哭，卻還在笑。

明明很在乎，卻裝作無所謂。

明明很想留下，卻堅定的說要離開。

明明很痛苦，卻偏偏說自己很幸福。

明明忘不掉，卻說已經忘了。

明明放不下，卻說他是他，我是我。

明明捨不得，卻說我已經受夠了。

明明說的是違心的假話，卻說那是自己的真心話。

明明眼淚都快溢出眼眶，卻高昂著頭。

明明已經無法挽回，卻依舊執著。

明明知道自己很受傷，卻說你不必覺得欠我的。

明明這樣「偽裝」著很累，卻還得依舊......

為的只是隱藏起自己的脆弱，即使很難過，也會裝的無所謂，

只是不願別人看見自己的傷口，不想讓自己周圍的人但心，不想讓別人同情自己，

只想在心底獨自承受，雖然心疼的難以呼吸，卻笑著告訴所有人「我沒事的！」 ,

然後靜下來時，自己便笑話自己，何必把自己偽裝的那麼堅強?

好像自己可以承受所有的苦難，這好累......好累......

即使是偽裝，即使很累，只為了不讓蓄積於眼底的淚水流下。

那是蘊藏在眼底的冰冷，一旦溫熱便會洶湧，沖毀我久築的防堤......

只為這一個理由，已足夠。

偽裝堅強，只為不讓脆弱有機可乘，只為可以一個人在晚上走夜路也不害怕...... 呵，扯開嘴角的微笑並不是那麼容易。 你堅強的背後會有一個聲音：累不累？可已無路可退。 一個人的夜晚，才會最真實吧？！

有時候，我會累會想停下來，去觀望路邊的風景，

有時候，我會為自己找一個藉口，讓自己停留；

我想為自己找一個藉口，一個讓自己停下來的藉口… 

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV

Should I or shouldn't I?

this is bout my feeling / relation with him.... keep thnking to 4gt it.... and dont bother it. but it keep coming bck, bcoz i nvr get to settle it. and i really duno wat to do now. Not because i want a relationship so badly is... Unsettle business since long long time ago. Nvr hve a solution, da problm nvr been solve. jst i didnt go thnk bout it, dont bother, pretend it oredi NONE my business..

honestly i still care everythng bout him... as owes! thx Jesus for evrythng! thx u Lord! =D

i thnk i should leave it all to God!