Home with Jesus 3

22.10.2010 day 3

finally get to get so slp last nite. although is short but manage to slp well. & wake up early morning to prepare and waiting for some relative or visitor to come to pay condolence.

2nd uncle, going to airport to fetch my aunt around 10am... 1 of my cuz are here & we wainting for my Aunt. to reach home. once she reach home, she burst into tear... sigh....

around 3 something, the Undertaker are here, to move grandma body to her Coffin. my bro sey grandma is like ICE. hard & cold. the undertaker sey put all her Favor cloth insde, after that put all da flower over & cover da space insde da coffin b4 they close up. we all pick lots lots f flower for ah ma.. she love flower very much but she cant see it at all now! after we place it, they close it up.

i was crying madly... i really cant believe that da 1 slp insde it is Ah ma.. the ah ma that stay strong, love us, tell us story, brg us go out, ftch us home from sch tuition piano-violin class, travelling to KL, make our cloth; da comfortable home wear pants; skirt; sch uniform; pillow; booster; pray for us, cook for us, Take care of me & my bro since i was born till recently, like 23 year with her. nvr leave us... she is da closest person to us beside our own family. mom dad tim melvin ah kong & ah ma. it owes 7 of us 2gather. sure we will ask ah kong & ah ma to join us.

now ah kong is alone, & i cant stay at Kch for long too. dam.... ah kong sayang ah ma alot... alot.. he tke k of her everyday everynite since she is sick. & be with her 24hours..

Grandma go Home with Jesus 2

21.10.2010 Day 2

Cant slp da whole nite. Keep awake & flu-ing. Hehe… wake up around 6 sumthng… then… jst go beside grandma… thnking y we all get up oredi ah ma still slping… can she jst wake up again? I know is ridiculous… but I cant hlp it. I really wish grandma can wake up. Don’t keep slping insde. ^^ that wat keep wandering on my mind. When go near ah ma… was hoping miracle to happen that she can wake up.

Now ah ma house is full of flower.. so wish that grandma can see it. It all so pretty & colorful, ah ma sure love it & will keep it if she can see it. She love flower so much.. her backyard & front of da hse is full of flower, she plant all da flower herself. Watering every morning when she go for a morning walk, put some fertilizer move them out under the sun & etc. ah ma expert in planting flower. She lover Orchid da most. Hehe… backyard gt a lot of kind of orchid flower. She left no 1 can keep jaga those pretty flower anymore.

My Sg cousin jst arrive. If ah ma know she sure very happy coz she only see them once of few years if thy coming bck to Kch or ah ma go SG for holiz.. XD sure ah ma be happy to see all of them around… but too bad….. ah ma cant see them anymore. But I bet she know from heaven. Jesus brg her along wf him all this time. He will tell ah ma wat happen to us right? =)

Holland yiyi is coming bck 2mrw morning.. we all waiting for her return and the funeral ceremony will held on sat.

alots of relative and frens are coming today. and nitez time still hve da funeral service from our church.

another nite at grandparents house. still cant get into deep slp and the weather are cold.

Grandma go with Jesus to Heaven Home

20.10.2010 Day 1

After get call frm my mom, I quickly pack & ready all my stuff, going to lcct to get the earliest flight to come bck Kch ASAP. Manage to get airasia 1.50pm bck to kch. Thx god it not so exp. really thx god for guiding me all this time. Although I choose not to believe it’s real, but still hve to face it. On da way, duno why I feel it taking so long to reach. 1 hour 35 min frm KL – Kch, but this is da 1^st time I feel da trip is Super super long. I cant wait to reach here ASAP.

After I reach dad come & fetch me so with my SG uncle reach haf hour earlier than me & wait for my arrival. On da way to ah ma hse… mix feeling. I wish that it never happen & never been real in my family. When I reach ah ma house, im standing outsde the carpark… I dun dare to get in da hse. DAM gosh. I really really hope it not real It nvr happen. Standing outsde wish that im wrong. It tke sometime for me to hve da courage to step insde da hse.

Ah ma aircon bed is placing at da living room. So I went straight into ah ma room…. w/o giving a glance. Im was so afraid… very afraid. Stay quiet & thnking hard. Mom come in da room and ask me go see grandma, I jst cry out…. Telling that im afraid, im scare, I dun wan to see. I know it like not facing da truth. But I really cant accept it…. I nvr though of it would happen in my life my family… sound naïve right? But still im afraid. After awhle, grandpa come in…. pull me out, and sey U must see ah ma .. she’s very pretty n sleeping peacefully, i really burst into tears, so as ah kong. He sey no choice ah ma have to leave. Than oni I get da courage to step out da room at look at grandma… Gosh….. heart like dropping frm high up da sky. After awhle I get use wf da atmosphere & situation, talking to her, and telling her im bck oredi to visit her. ^^ hahaha… after that im feeling better. Much much better, it seem like she still wf us. But jst sleeping. ( lying to myslf). Nite time, our church mate & father come for the funeral service.so as other relative are here to pay condolence.

we overnite here at grandma hse, slping in her room. and grandpa said that he want to slp outside to accompany grandma for last time.... haiz... i cant slp that nite. i thnk so as every1... none of us hve a good n peaceful nite.

20.10.2010

mom called me around 837am telling me dat grandma keep out of breath and better get ready & go buy airticket now. after awhle 846 i call bck.. Mom sey ah ma no longer breathing. (speechless.........) i still cant believe it some how. not untill i see? why am i acting that way?. i dunno. wat can i do? i duno wat to do. want to get air ticket but cant online buying. need go da counter i guess & this month is my CC expre month. WTF. no 1 can hlp me now.

i've done packing & bath. wait for my wash cloth to done than i will move out to LCCT. btw it really out of my expectation. why ah ma... haiz...

mom jst called cant give me money busy now. Guess i hve to do it my own way now!

Ah ma.. tke k oh! Jesus will tke good care of u. i see u in heaven ya.. miss u owes & forever. Muakz.

Love, JIa wen

Sem end!

today is da final exam of music history 2. phew... finally we reach da end of sem & it like oni 1 month class dat all. but glad that it finish liaw. hope can do well & Pass this music history 2. im tired of repeating this course. it very suffering to attend history class. dam bored, & da lecture is like owes cant finsh his course outline at da end.

today final exam.. still Ok i guess. can do lah! hope can pass lah! do my best d. study hard wf my fellow frens during past few weeks. few kinda bored oredi. ahah... coz all this time is busy wf stdy & exam & term paper , now is finish that why we feel like nothng to do. haha... that normal lah hor? waiting da time to go home kuching. might goin bck on 25th ( mon ). but still hvnt get da air ticket. called my mom to buy air ticket oredi. so jst wait for da news.

mom sey grandma gt fever today. haiz... she go help her wash body, medicine & wash da wound. hope ah ma can recover ASAP. dun wan keep let her stay at Gh all this time. i thnk she miss home too. right? ah ma.. fast fast recover ah... we all waiting u come home. & Ji ku & yiyi is coming bck soon liaw! we need u home with us. i goin home see u soon k? dont worry! i'll miss u!
ah ma... u still need see me graduate u know? i want brg u come KL see me Grad ah. ^^ tke k yea.. GOd be with u all da time. dont worry.

><... tat all for today lah. my Pigu so pain now.. T_T

Love,
Jia Wen

Study day!

jst finsh 2 drama after bck home frm CME exam & secret recipe cake! =D

having CME exam frm 12.30 - 2pm. then go for PAss class at 2- 3.30pm. then chia my Soloist secret recipe cake.

Thx God for guiding me through my CME exam jst now! very very thxful manage to get it all through, although im not da best! but for me myslf it conside Not bad, due i didnt get mess up n nervous. use to hve Performance anxiety. whch is very very bad! but really thx GOd for bein there guide my all da way. =D

tonite need to do much much stdy for 2mrw history exam liaw! OOShh! Hope can do it well & finsh cover everythng i need to do. thnk that all for now! Bye...

Love,
wen

History Sunday!

jst finish studying wth my fren today.we took whole day to finsh da history 2 listening & score reading. it very tiring, need to pay alot of concentration on whre is the 1st theme, transition, 2nd theme , Full tittle , composer, year. really alot alot of thng to do. but... cant cover everythng. Tues will be da DATE of da final exam.. & this sem is SUPER pACK! like PACKING sardin FIsh in da can. everythng Squeeze together. & we finsh out stdy in 1 month ? if cut off the holiz and weekends. for degree program is like XIAO! duno wat UCSI is doing. memang XIAO! =.='''

haha.. but thx to jun ling, come stdy & do revision wf me today! if not i thnk i still not yet finsh da listening. 2 brain is better than 1. right? coz can hlp ea other up! haha! 2mrw i gt CME exam frm 12.30 - 2.oo than go on wf PAss session 2- 3.30. after that Need PIA again! tues will be da final exam! Wish all of us All da best! & must Pass this Stupid HIstory 2.

didnt watch any drama yet... feel like watching. but d line is too laggg... should slp early tonite. so 2mrw get up early to practice and go to sch! need practice wf my Soloist b4 go for exam! so worry about my 3rd song. i cant play it well.. once get nervous, everythng is GONe... kelam kabut at da ending! DAm...

that all for Sunday. God Bless! nitez

Love,
wen

Bad News Ever

today i get a bad news from my mom around 3 sumthng... i really duno wat can i do to make it better or sumthng i can do for my grandma...

mom sey, Doc call up my grandpa to call all da family member to GH. Doc sey, it better to be prepare that anytime grandma will leave. i was shock when i heard this from mom.. last few week she still Ok.. i call her.. & she still can talk to me, event is da word is not clear. but i know & understand what she talking. she told me that is bored, so i ask her to ask ah kong brg u go out see flower & blow some fresh air. She sey yea... she did go out. =) dat time i was so happy coz... she seem getting better. but after since than i didnt manage to call her on time! too busy wf my studies. sigh....

now, coming to final on tues. i hope she can hold on till im bck! im coming very soon ah ma... =...(
mom sey dont buy air ticket for 26th oct 1st. scare need to change on da last min. wait da time come than can get da ticket!

i really dunno what can i do now. dunno how also... so so tired! Dear father Lord, pls help to tke good care ah ma for us. She love u & love all of us very much!

sometime feel so lost, like no emotion at all. duno how to face it. haiz... use to have sum1 to share wf me last time. but now.. no longer anymore. keep all to myself. no one that to relay on, dont hve a place to stop but jst can keep moving on and on. hope can find a place to stop & rest sumtime. but i guess there is no longer this kind of place for me anymore.

p/s: ah ma... get well soon ah! Jesus is With u all da time! he love & tke good care of u! i go home soon liaw! buy sumthng u like for u ya.... miss & love u owes!

Love,
Jia wen

Brand New Breeze ~ Kanon

isn't it a beautiful song? dont know why i like this song.. but.. i can feel that... i feel peaceful when listen to this song. suddenly i feel that it Ok to let go! and is like there is nothng matter anymore. haha!

mbe, i can let go of him now. dont hve any hard feeling like last time anymore! XD

usually will feel that... sourness in the heart! but not this time! no more sourness... no more unwilling! nway i will put it in GOd's hand.. He know wat the best for me.. =) thx u Lord.