i need u

It been awhle i keep ask myself what i need and what i want. And now im sure with my feeling.

1. I really need you. i need you more than anything else. this is for sure, i can hide it, i can denied it, i can pretend that i dont need you. but when i look deep insde me, i need u most.

2. I wish to hve u bck as my dearest. sometime i feel w/o u i can stand alone. but whn i get into hard time.. i need ur support the most.

3. I still want to love you more. that is for sure. i nvr doubt bout loving u.

4. I'm the 1 cant let go. cant let go of u. I'm afraid of loosing u.

也許..... 你我都在「偽裝」 ♡

明明很想哭，卻還在笑。

明明很在乎，卻裝作無所謂。

明明很想留下，卻堅定的說要離開。

明明很痛苦，卻偏偏說自己很幸福。

明明忘不掉，卻說已經忘了。

明明放不下，卻說他是他，我是我。

明明捨不得，卻說我已經受夠了。

明明說的是違心的假話，卻說那是自己的真心話。

明明眼淚都快溢出眼眶，卻高昂著頭。

明明已經無法挽回，卻依舊執著。

明明知道自己很受傷，卻說你不必覺得欠我的。

明明這樣「偽裝」著很累，卻還得依舊......

為的只是隱藏起自己的脆弱，即使很難過，也會裝的無所謂，

只是不願別人看見自己的傷口，不想讓自己周圍的人但心，不想讓別人同情自己，

只想在心底獨自承受，雖然心疼的難以呼吸，卻笑著告訴所有人「我沒事的！」 ,

然後靜下來時，自己便笑話自己，何必把自己偽裝的那麼堅強?

好像自己可以承受所有的苦難，這好累......好累......

即使是偽裝，即使很累，只為了不讓蓄積於眼底的淚水流下。

那是蘊藏在眼底的冰冷，一旦溫熱便會洶湧，沖毀我久築的防堤......

只為這一個理由，已足夠。

偽裝堅強，只為不讓脆弱有機可乘，只為可以一個人在晚上走夜路也不害怕...... 呵，扯開嘴角的微笑並不是那麼容易。 你堅強的背後會有一個聲音：累不累？可已無路可退。 一個人的夜晚，才會最真實吧？！

有時候，我會累會想停下來，去觀望路邊的風景，

有時候，我會為自己找一個藉口，讓自己停留；

我想為自己找一個藉口，一個讓自己停下來的藉口… 

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV

Should I or shouldn't I?

this is bout my feeling / relation with him.... keep thnking to 4gt it.... and dont bother it. but it keep coming bck, bcoz i nvr get to settle it. and i really duno wat to do now. Not because i want a relationship so badly is... Unsettle business since long long time ago. Nvr hve a solution, da problm nvr been solve. jst i didnt go thnk bout it, dont bother, pretend it oredi NONE my business..

honestly i still care everythng bout him... as owes! thx Jesus for evrythng! thx u Lord! =D

i thnk i should leave it all to God!

My BIrthday! 10.11.2010

1st great birthday at kuching! Lol... nite b4 my birthday, he sms & wanna date me 2mrw... was thnking dont need to work? He kinda busy with all da hotel. but who knows he sey he tke leave 2mrw! =.='''' i was.... err..... kinda speechless lah! He plan that 2mrw take leave to celeb my birthday wf me! Lol.. thnking how sweet right? haha~

wake up in da morning is 9am.. he told me he come at 10am. so im still on my lazyness... On laptop check Fb all da greetings frm lots of frens go dwn to living room watch bro play GE (9.30am- was thnking still gt time tke it slow) but who know...... in awhle... He reached My hse oredi.. and im still in my pyjamas! =.='''' Really WTf.... than i quickly go ready up! haha! lame right? Lol...


after done, we go out for breakfast. He wanted to eat sarawak Laksa at chun hui cafe. so we went there eat laksa & kopi O peng. =D (my favor) Only Drink Coffee at Kuching. KL copi noat nice at all! Lol... after breakfast, we go search for birthday cake. from old holiday Inn to riverside hotel didnt see any nice cake. but last is Hilton hotel, get a Mango Cheese cake. (1st time).

plan to go visit my grandma at Anglican Cemetery. put da cake bck at my hse than go buy flower..... on day way we went to Kuching International airport to see starbuck tumbler. Hope to find somethng special. XD but still da same at da town starbuck. so i bought the tumbler there & head to Cemetery.

after visiting, we go for lunch than sent me to work. =D

having a wonderful & great morning togather. ^^ It might not be fancy or Grand. BUt it da BEstest For me oredi... really love it. thx God!


This is da present from Him.... Order from Our new fren Jaben Owner. he know wat best for me! Lol...

after work, home & prepare to go Dinner wf fam & grandpa at the BanQuet. is a nice place. we choose da Buffet Menu. 44 Menu to choose can order again & again. ea person rm33 (dinner set). Not bad. can go and try! haha!

after dinner, decide go for 2nd round celebration wf some close frens... at Havana.

that a 1 full day oredi. hehe... simple & nais! Thx God for today & everyday. Thx for putting me here... to know You , my family, and my frens.! ^^ you da greatest God! thx for everythng!

Love,
W3n

Home with Jesus 3

22.10.2010 day 3

finally get to get so slp last nite. although is short but manage to slp well. & wake up early morning to prepare and waiting for some relative or visitor to come to pay condolence.

2nd uncle, going to airport to fetch my aunt around 10am... 1 of my cuz are here & we wainting for my Aunt. to reach home. once she reach home, she burst into tear... sigh....

around 3 something, the Undertaker are here, to move grandma body to her Coffin. my bro sey grandma is like ICE. hard & cold. the undertaker sey put all her Favor cloth insde, after that put all da flower over & cover da space insde da coffin b4 they close up. we all pick lots lots f flower for ah ma.. she love flower very much but she cant see it at all now! after we place it, they close it up.

i was crying madly... i really cant believe that da 1 slp insde it is Ah ma.. the ah ma that stay strong, love us, tell us story, brg us go out, ftch us home from sch tuition piano-violin class, travelling to KL, make our cloth; da comfortable home wear pants; skirt; sch uniform; pillow; booster; pray for us, cook for us, Take care of me & my bro since i was born till recently, like 23 year with her. nvr leave us... she is da closest person to us beside our own family. mom dad tim melvin ah kong & ah ma. it owes 7 of us 2gather. sure we will ask ah kong & ah ma to join us.

now ah kong is alone, & i cant stay at Kch for long too. dam.... ah kong sayang ah ma alot... alot.. he tke k of her everyday everynite since she is sick. & be with her 24hours..

Grandma go Home with Jesus 2

21.10.2010 Day 2

Cant slp da whole nite. Keep awake & flu-ing. Hehe… wake up around 6 sumthng… then… jst go beside grandma… thnking y we all get up oredi ah ma still slping… can she jst wake up again? I know is ridiculous… but I cant hlp it. I really wish grandma can wake up. Don’t keep slping insde. ^^ that wat keep wandering on my mind. When go near ah ma… was hoping miracle to happen that she can wake up.

Now ah ma house is full of flower.. so wish that grandma can see it. It all so pretty & colorful, ah ma sure love it & will keep it if she can see it. She love flower so much.. her backyard & front of da hse is full of flower, she plant all da flower herself. Watering every morning when she go for a morning walk, put some fertilizer move them out under the sun & etc. ah ma expert in planting flower. She lover Orchid da most. Hehe… backyard gt a lot of kind of orchid flower. She left no 1 can keep jaga those pretty flower anymore.

My Sg cousin jst arrive. If ah ma know she sure very happy coz she only see them once of few years if thy coming bck to Kch or ah ma go SG for holiz.. XD sure ah ma be happy to see all of them around… but too bad….. ah ma cant see them anymore. But I bet she know from heaven. Jesus brg her along wf him all this time. He will tell ah ma wat happen to us right? =)

Holland yiyi is coming bck 2mrw morning.. we all waiting for her return and the funeral ceremony will held on sat.

alots of relative and frens are coming today. and nitez time still hve da funeral service from our church.

another nite at grandparents house. still cant get into deep slp and the weather are cold.

Grandma go with Jesus to Heaven Home

20.10.2010 Day 1

After get call frm my mom, I quickly pack & ready all my stuff, going to lcct to get the earliest flight to come bck Kch ASAP. Manage to get airasia 1.50pm bck to kch. Thx god it not so exp. really thx god for guiding me all this time. Although I choose not to believe it’s real, but still hve to face it. On da way, duno why I feel it taking so long to reach. 1 hour 35 min frm KL – Kch, but this is da 1^st time I feel da trip is Super super long. I cant wait to reach here ASAP.

After I reach dad come & fetch me so with my SG uncle reach haf hour earlier than me & wait for my arrival. On da way to ah ma hse… mix feeling. I wish that it never happen & never been real in my family. When I reach ah ma house, im standing outsde the carpark… I dun dare to get in da hse. DAM gosh. I really really hope it not real It nvr happen. Standing outsde wish that im wrong. It tke sometime for me to hve da courage to step insde da hse.

Ah ma aircon bed is placing at da living room. So I went straight into ah ma room…. w/o giving a glance. Im was so afraid… very afraid. Stay quiet & thnking hard. Mom come in da room and ask me go see grandma, I jst cry out…. Telling that im afraid, im scare, I dun wan to see. I know it like not facing da truth. But I really cant accept it…. I nvr though of it would happen in my life my family… sound naïve right? But still im afraid. After awhle, grandpa come in…. pull me out, and sey U must see ah ma .. she’s very pretty n sleeping peacefully, i really burst into tears, so as ah kong. He sey no choice ah ma have to leave. Than oni I get da courage to step out da room at look at grandma… Gosh….. heart like dropping frm high up da sky. After awhle I get use wf da atmosphere & situation, talking to her, and telling her im bck oredi to visit her. ^^ hahaha… after that im feeling better. Much much better, it seem like she still wf us. But jst sleeping. ( lying to myslf). Nite time, our church mate & father come for the funeral service.so as other relative are here to pay condolence.

we overnite here at grandma hse, slping in her room. and grandpa said that he want to slp outside to accompany grandma for last time.... haiz... i cant slp that nite. i thnk so as every1... none of us hve a good n peaceful nite.

20.10.2010

mom called me around 837am telling me dat grandma keep out of breath and better get ready & go buy airticket now. after awhle 846 i call bck.. Mom sey ah ma no longer breathing. (speechless.........) i still cant believe it some how. not untill i see? why am i acting that way?. i dunno. wat can i do? i duno wat to do. want to get air ticket but cant online buying. need go da counter i guess & this month is my CC expre month. WTF. no 1 can hlp me now.

i've done packing & bath. wait for my wash cloth to done than i will move out to LCCT. btw it really out of my expectation. why ah ma... haiz...

mom jst called cant give me money busy now. Guess i hve to do it my own way now!

Ah ma.. tke k oh! Jesus will tke good care of u. i see u in heaven ya.. miss u owes & forever. Muakz.

Love, JIa wen

Sem end!

today is da final exam of music history 2. phew... finally we reach da end of sem & it like oni 1 month class dat all. but glad that it finish liaw. hope can do well & Pass this music history 2. im tired of repeating this course. it very suffering to attend history class. dam bored, & da lecture is like owes cant finsh his course outline at da end.

today final exam.. still Ok i guess. can do lah! hope can pass lah! do my best d. study hard wf my fellow frens during past few weeks. few kinda bored oredi. ahah... coz all this time is busy wf stdy & exam & term paper , now is finish that why we feel like nothng to do. haha... that normal lah hor? waiting da time to go home kuching. might goin bck on 25th ( mon ). but still hvnt get da air ticket. called my mom to buy air ticket oredi. so jst wait for da news.

mom sey grandma gt fever today. haiz... she go help her wash body, medicine & wash da wound. hope ah ma can recover ASAP. dun wan keep let her stay at Gh all this time. i thnk she miss home too. right? ah ma.. fast fast recover ah... we all waiting u come home. & Ji ku & yiyi is coming bck soon liaw! we need u home with us. i goin home see u soon k? dont worry! i'll miss u!
ah ma... u still need see me graduate u know? i want brg u come KL see me Grad ah. ^^ tke k yea.. GOd be with u all da time. dont worry.

><... tat all for today lah. my Pigu so pain now.. T_T

Love,
Jia Wen

Study day!

jst finsh 2 drama after bck home frm CME exam & secret recipe cake! =D

having CME exam frm 12.30 - 2pm. then go for PAss class at 2- 3.30pm. then chia my Soloist secret recipe cake.

Thx God for guiding me through my CME exam jst now! very very thxful manage to get it all through, although im not da best! but for me myslf it conside Not bad, due i didnt get mess up n nervous. use to hve Performance anxiety. whch is very very bad! but really thx GOd for bein there guide my all da way. =D

tonite need to do much much stdy for 2mrw history exam liaw! OOShh! Hope can do it well & finsh cover everythng i need to do. thnk that all for now! Bye...

Love,
wen

History Sunday!

jst finish studying wth my fren today.we took whole day to finsh da history 2 listening & score reading. it very tiring, need to pay alot of concentration on whre is the 1st theme, transition, 2nd theme , Full tittle , composer, year. really alot alot of thng to do. but... cant cover everythng. Tues will be da DATE of da final exam.. & this sem is SUPER pACK! like PACKING sardin FIsh in da can. everythng Squeeze together. & we finsh out stdy in 1 month ? if cut off the holiz and weekends. for degree program is like XIAO! duno wat UCSI is doing. memang XIAO! =.='''

haha.. but thx to jun ling, come stdy & do revision wf me today! if not i thnk i still not yet finsh da listening. 2 brain is better than 1. right? coz can hlp ea other up! haha! 2mrw i gt CME exam frm 12.30 - 2.oo than go on wf PAss session 2- 3.30. after that Need PIA again! tues will be da final exam! Wish all of us All da best! & must Pass this Stupid HIstory 2.

didnt watch any drama yet... feel like watching. but d line is too laggg... should slp early tonite. so 2mrw get up early to practice and go to sch! need practice wf my Soloist b4 go for exam! so worry about my 3rd song. i cant play it well.. once get nervous, everythng is GONe... kelam kabut at da ending! DAm...

that all for Sunday. God Bless! nitez

Love,
wen

Bad News Ever

today i get a bad news from my mom around 3 sumthng... i really duno wat can i do to make it better or sumthng i can do for my grandma...

mom sey, Doc call up my grandpa to call all da family member to GH. Doc sey, it better to be prepare that anytime grandma will leave. i was shock when i heard this from mom.. last few week she still Ok.. i call her.. & she still can talk to me, event is da word is not clear. but i know & understand what she talking. she told me that is bored, so i ask her to ask ah kong brg u go out see flower & blow some fresh air. She sey yea... she did go out. =) dat time i was so happy coz... she seem getting better. but after since than i didnt manage to call her on time! too busy wf my studies. sigh....

now, coming to final on tues. i hope she can hold on till im bck! im coming very soon ah ma... =...(
mom sey dont buy air ticket for 26th oct 1st. scare need to change on da last min. wait da time come than can get da ticket!

i really dunno what can i do now. dunno how also... so so tired! Dear father Lord, pls help to tke good care ah ma for us. She love u & love all of us very much!

sometime feel so lost, like no emotion at all. duno how to face it. haiz... use to have sum1 to share wf me last time. but now.. no longer anymore. keep all to myself. no one that to relay on, dont hve a place to stop but jst can keep moving on and on. hope can find a place to stop & rest sumtime. but i guess there is no longer this kind of place for me anymore.

p/s: ah ma... get well soon ah! Jesus is With u all da time! he love & tke good care of u! i go home soon liaw! buy sumthng u like for u ya.... miss & love u owes!

Love,
Jia wen

Brand New Breeze ~ Kanon

isn't it a beautiful song? dont know why i like this song.. but.. i can feel that... i feel peaceful when listen to this song. suddenly i feel that it Ok to let go! and is like there is nothng matter anymore. haha!

mbe, i can let go of him now. dont hve any hard feeling like last time anymore! XD

usually will feel that... sourness in the heart! but not this time! no more sourness... no more unwilling! nway i will put it in GOd's hand.. He know wat the best for me.. =) thx u Lord.

Hari raya?

helloe fellow frens... how are u all? hope u all doing fine! =)

it very bored waiting for my 3pm flight to boarding at 230pm. too bad im not in bck for holiday... but to visit my grandma.... b4 it too late? jst dont want to feel regret next time! so mst go bck now.

grandma admitted to Gh since last week, till last nite doc let her go off but... need to send to nursery care. sigh...... i hope she can get well... but.. high chance wont be get bck to last time any more. this is my 1st time experience all this situation... sometime really cant tke it anymore... so tired.. & im wanted for more & more thng to be done by God... wishing God can hlp grandma. mbe im jst ein selfish.. coz i dont want to lost her. but wat to do? God plans no 1 can change.. mbe it time to let it to God hands.. we cant control everythng... we done have da power.. but GOd Does.. Coz he is out Mighty God which love us more than any1 else..

last time might thnk some time ah ma too loso... coz she want to find sum1 to chat wf her... but all too busy to reply & not being patient to hear her stry... now... i cant wish she can chat wf me.. but she wont talk anymore.. x_x

very hard feeling... duno wat can i do to hlp her.. really not in Our hands anymore liaw! but i know God will tke good care of her.. =)

lalalalalal...... i thnk that all for now lah! blog againt next time!

AH mA.... Im Coming Bck to see u Now... =) Love u!

M3 & dearest great ah ma ( Kl b4 she go to HK for vacation)

Jaeson Ma ONly Love Music Rally 18.08.10

I went to Jaeson Ma music rally last nite... it was awesome..

actually 1 of my fren is goin wf me.. but, around 530 he call up sey.. i gt important thng to attend tonite. can go with you. ask other tke the ticket. in my heart i was wandering Dam U... Wat more important than listen to God's words. im kinda piss off actually... than i start to thnk should i go or not? but my heart sey, Nvm.... JSt go for it.. Alone also can Go! So i make my move n prepare to go out! Putting few wall post on my facebook! hoping sum1 will join me! but... none reply! it true that i gt alot of frens... but frens that have the same heart wf u? and know u well? are less then 5! =)

when i reach tasik selatan LRT station is around 730pm? suddenly, i saw a junior wf a gal! at da same station... so he come n greet me! asking me whre am i goin? so i tell him goin to jaeson ma music rally. i was thnking he might not interested at all... but whose know... he turn out n sey WAH.... u goin? I wanna go... I pray for it all this time, wish can go for the 1040 movie n da music rally. So i sey i gt 1 xtra ROzk zone ticket. U wanna follow me? (hahah) HE sey OK... but... sad is he had to FFK his fren, but thx god for a fren like her... she kinda understand n know He wanted to go so much.. now is da opportunity, he sey U go lah! XD thx god!

end up we goin togather, & is like... da time is ngam, n meet da right pplz to brg along? he is not yet baptize and i hope he will Soon. ^^ during our journey, big rain all over KL was thnking oh dam i didnt brg any umbrella... but he did so we share lah! XD n not so big rain after we reach Maluri station. so we run to PGRM!




the music rally program gt dancing, praise & worship by Star PArk member, JAeson Speech & Caleb.

Pastor Jaeson really remind me alot alot of thngs that i read on DrIVEN LIFE PURPOSE by Rick Warren..

Passion - I got Passion Purity - is cool Holy - is awesome

Love - Love god, love ur self love ur neighbour

Trust in Him Trust Jesus is My Lord My king , Im his Disciple, Be more like Jesus, surrender my soul & my heart,

Tell jesus Help me & Save me. I need him. (you is all i need, you is all i want, you everything You everthing)
We are not perfect, that why Lord Jesus Christ Die for us in the Cross... To tke our sin n make us perfect. BELIEVE IN HIM!

Trust HIm, Have FAith in Him! Love HIm Like he 1st love us... (How great is our god, sing with me How great is our god, and all will see how great is our god)

But is start with Obey, Bein Obedient & love God! u find all u want!

it alot alot to share with you all... haha! if you experience urself, u will know, God love is Undiscribedable! like Pastor jaeson sey.... not bout religious or wat... Jst Trust N believe in Jesus Christ is The LORd.... not care wat religion are you right now! JSt Trust In JEsus Chirst is OUr Lord King of all!

p/s: jst can sum all is Great.... God Love God Grace is Great..... Unlimited Love!

Pastor Jaeson Ma

属于你我的回忆

1st week anniversary - Perky'05

1st birthday present'05


1st Christmas present'05






1st Valentine present (i thnk is da year im going out to study)

Digimon in pair. XD

Christmas present'08

X'mas present'09

《华语发音学福州话》

《华语发音学福州话》

对不懂福州话的朋友来说，这种方言也许蛮难学的，那就不

妨 到此以华语发音方式轻轻松松学几句吧！

（武无～黑色）（罢霸～白色）（解借～紫色）（弱若～绿色） （产常～青色）

（巴悠～香蕉）（忽吕～腐竹）（道舞～豆腐）（寡义～瓜子） （依青～味精）
（谎牛～辣椒）（拔采～白菜）（鬼意～水果）（典倔～甜酱）

（女嘎～你爸）（女内～你妈）（女嫁～你姐）（性母～媳妇） （搂骂～夫妻）
（肉嘛～老婆）（以望～医院）（咪西～护士）（马蜡～警察） （偷删～畜生）
（典爬～疯子）（醒南～老师）（病鬼～冰箱）（兜悠～酱油） （舞逗～烫斗）
（陋友～老鹰）（走样～小鸟）（霸徐～巴士）（丢丢～橱柜） （呀起～夜市）
（也留～椅子）（手又～扫把）（嘛朵～马路）（西甘～时间） （敏咩～脸颊）
（咪麽～眉毛）（咪纠～眼睛）（妈摸～夜晚）（咋易～早上） （咋炸～早早）
（啊老～下午）（松吗～昨天）（痞又～鼻子）（痞类～鼻屎） （痞麽～鼻毛）
（卡麽～脚毛）（刹麽～蟑螂）（选店～商展）（嘴蝶～水池） （丑慢～草蜢）
（汤摸～尿盆）（宣宣～箱子）（退母～迟钝）（扫舞～师父） （仅迷～证明）
（丫酥～耶稣）

（咧巴～努力）（咩呗～不懂）（耸怕～打架）（锈外～幸苦） （谎窄～反正）
（惜窄～实在）（索掏～一只）（懂醉～涨水）（哦翠～接吻） （苟淫～结婚）
（惜百～失败）（扒弄～打算）（孔明～睡觉）（孔闹～午睡） （帖妈～哭泣）
（故午～还有）（故里～又是）（北背～每次）（选惜～相信） （喇查～肮脏）
（塔踏～干净）（阿北～下次）（丫依～顽皮）（惨麻～瞎眼） （差捞～木头）
（请难～清醒）（请怒～清楚）（写盖～世界）（嗡机～行情） （肿博～全部）
（柳六～所有）（咯百～糟蹋）（拿扭～小便）（响银～声音） （咔博～脚步）
（宋嘎～吵架）（傀续～开始）（惜我～失望）（意鲁～味道） （庞麽～遗失）
（偷丫～前头）（嘎局～教书）（倦比～准备）（卡摸～敲门） （运奶～忍耐）
（昂阿～黑暗）（咋电～早餐）（捡那～捐赠）（咩胆～不能） （昂昨～安全）
（按挤～安静）（蒋吟～正经）（蒋酱～真正）（腊鲁～邋遢） （嘎纠～捉弄）
（哑麻～野蛮）（惨够～淤青）（烈颇～离谱）（搂芽～差劣） （咩磊～不行）
（张西～暂时）（帮薛～平常）（裘意～戒指）（锁呀～输赢） （挺街～赚钱）
（选琴～相亲）（月悔～约会）（帮巴～平坦）（谎意～欢喜） （惨薛～商量）
（意雪～以上）（意阿～以下）（抢告～请教）（抢莫～请问） （狗急～交情）
（剧博～煮饭）（举插～煮炒）（蒋惜～真实）（嘎徐～假如） （骂雪～马上）
（索甲～一个）（索北～一次）（索嘎～一下）


（卡芽～脚踏车）（丫样～野孩子）（陋伙～老头子）（呸样～ 古惑仔）
（博吐～快吐了）（咩签～不新鲜）（扫错～扫屋子）（啃内～ 狗大便）

（恬宁～天上的星星）（揍躲～跑路的意思）（网完～～弯弯的 意思）
（打达～干干的）

（摸孬～门）

（董某样～男孩子）（君女样～女孩子）（阿嗦写～下一世） （选咩搞～想不到）
（魔带野～没事情）（丫力海～很厉害）（丫闹夜～很热闹） （下博咯～吃饭咯）
（下倒咯～吃午饭）（下妈咯～吃晚饭）（下典宁～吃点心） （胡酒嫩～福州人）
（醒硬办～神经病）（阔卡溜～去玩玩）（山芭鲁～乡下佬） （冻咩带～顶不顺）
（咩大喊～不耐烦）（魔魔贡～乱乱讲）（竟敢哭～很困难） （精用矣～很容易）
（给给又～呱呱叫）（若老通～绿豆汤）（麽擦锈～不理睬） （偷咯北～头一次）
（吼啷样～年轻人）（敢阔吸～赶去死）（尽选女～很想你） （公咙波～一整夜）
（索嘎劳～一家人）（麽处泻～没出息）（麽左易～没主意） （八头魔～白头发）

（部落错～烦躁）（凄厉花～烟火）（妈腻痒～小猫）（钉退 仰～铁锤）
（嘎嘎力～假假）（把懒颓～蝌蚪）

（麽撒划～表示一发不可收拾）

（阿哔酒～小男孩小便的地方）（爹立母～弟弟的老婆）

（贤陶仰～“屋檐头前的儿子”骂人养不大的意思）

（半恰里～“病赤痢”是咒人病倒泻肚子咒人死的意思）

（检挪况～“问号”怎么样？）

（肚里咯～“都是咯”表示赞同）

（酱你哦～“真是如此”表示认同）

（呗鼎月～“八珍药”一种煲汤药材）

（陪语律～不好意思）（丫趣米～很有趣味）（吧啷丁～晕头转 向）

（惜你哦、洗咩～～“问号”是吗）（鼎索嘎、鼎拿麽～等一 下）

（告搞、尽搞～很厚）（马杜、薛捞～石头）（马央、马你～ 猫）

（久旧、敬酒～很少）（典癫、金癫～很甜）（笔兔、笔测～橡 皮擦）

（肚奶油、肚内有～惹人厌恶之意）（参物奴、楚露～粗鲁）

（说搞同哭～输到脱裤）（含七呗怪～怪模怪样）（孔咩咯咪～ 睡不入眠）
（咩唬喔咯～来不及了）（种舞索跟～总有一天）（巴雪巴咯～ 爬上爬下）
（波动雨咯～快下雨了）（轩东满乃～相当不错）（浆你浆你～ 是的是的）

（古原必理花～屁股开花）（沟咯阿麽麽～腋毛）
（女里古原劲炒～你的屁股很臭）（女力沟咯阿麽麽劲炒～你的 腋毛很臭）

Kusabi by Oku Hanako

Shuuden go no dare mo inai michi ni futari no kanashige na hitotsu no kage
Mou nido to mou nido to awanai to kokoro ni chikaiatta natsu no yoru

Tada soba ni iru dake de waraiaeta sonna hi ga tsuzuitekku to shinjiteita
Anata wo kirai ni naru kurai nara konomama futari de kage ni naritai

Saigo no kuchizuke fureru dake de itai yo
Itoshii kimochi ga afurete anata wo kowasu mae ni

Dakishimete anata no ude de ato ichi byou dake demo kou shiteitai
Mou kenka suru koto mo mou yakimochi yaku koto mo
Mou kao wo miru koto sae dekinakunaru no

Fushigi da ne dousite hito wa sugu ni mamorenai yakusoku wo suru no darou
Hito no kokoro wo tsunagitomeru mono nado doko ni mo naitte shitteiru no ni

Saigo no kotoba ga yasashisugite itai yo
Futari wa otagai no koto wakarisugite shimatta

Dakiyosete watashi no mune ni kodomo no you na anata no kami wo nadetai
mou yoko de warau koto mo mou yoko de nemuru koto mo
Mou namae wo yobu koto sae dekinakunaru no

Kokoro wo tsunagitomerareru mono wa yakusoku ja nai
Yakusoku wa jibun e no kiyasume nanodarou ka...

Dakishimete anata no ude de ato ichi byou dake demo kou siteitai
Mou kenka suru koto mo mou yakimochi yaku koto mo
Mou kao wo miru koto sae dekinaikunaru no
Mou aitakunatte mo mou iki ga dekinakute mo
Anata wo yobanai to yakusoku suru kara
Anata wo yobanai to yakusoku suru kara

【薄桜鬼】楔

終電後の誰もいない道に　二人の悲しげな一つの影
もう二度ともう二度と会わない と　心に誓い合った夏の夜

ただ傍にいるだけで笑い合えた　そんな日が続い てくと信じていた
あなたを嫌いになるくらいなら　このまま二人で夜になりたい

最後の口づけ　触れるだけで痛いよ
愛しい気持ちが溢れて　貴方を壊す前に

抱きしめて　貴方の腕で　あと1秒だけでもこうしていたい
もう喧嘩する事も　もうやきもち焼く事も
も う顔を見る事さえ出来なくなるの

不思議だね　どうして人はすぐに　守れない約束をするのだろう
人の心を繋ぎ止めるものなど 　どこにもないと知っているのに

最後の言葉が　優しすぎて痛いよ
二 人はお互いのこと分かりすぎてしまった

抱き寄せて　私の胸に　子供のよう な貴方の髪を撫でたい
もう横で笑う事も　もう横で眠る事も
もう名前を呼ぶ事さえ出来なくなるの

心を繋ぎ止められるものは約束じゃない
約束は自分への気休めなのだろうか･･･

抱きしめて　貴方の腕で　あと1秒だけでもこうしていたい
もう喧嘩する事も　もうやきもち焼く事も
も う顔を見る事さえ出来ないのなら
もう会いたくなっても　もう息が出来なくても
貴方を呼ばないと約束するから
貴方を呼ばない と約束するから

Finally

finally i told him oredi! not told but writting an email for him! bout thse problm i keep insde my heart long long time ago! but still he didnt reply me exact wat i want! =.='' mbe he still wana keep it up n avoid it? sigh! nvm oredi.. all not important anymore!

i still gt feeling on it... few so sad when reply da email... but i dont wanna reply anymore! i should let it go! better! da Best is dont contact n relay on him anymore...... haiz! wat a complicated situation n thnking now! dunno wat to sey n deal!

honestly, i do my part well, keep my stdy Up now! will push myself to busy mode i guest! n 4gt all da pass? haha! da oni thng is to pray to God! really need God Help!

i really dunno wat should i do now! haiz! really......no idea @_@ but i love him! i really love him! =)

I'm back!!!

hello blogger ><>

wah~~~ duno where to start from... is like too many thngs happen around! let start with recently news! =)


recently i get my way back to a life which christian must do! goin to church, prayer, bibble reading, praise & worship, & etc...
before this month, my temper was... like.. So defensive, n thnk of negative stuff? especially when my family or closes fren call me! i feel so Defensive! duno why. but then i realize... there is sumthng wrong bout me! jst seem not in the right path! sigh! on da 1st day of my new sem start, my close fren remind me of sumthng...n we talk bout tis in msn. he gve me a bibble verse,

Proverbs 3:5-6 ~Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

after reading it... i found.. yea... im leaving GOD far away oredi, im no longer put him as my 1st place in my heart! i do evrythng w/o thnking of Him. & i realize alot alot of thngs! like my study, life, family, frens, temper, & etc... this all need to be change! i told myself I Beatrice Must CHANGE from now ON! & 3 thngs that I must do everyday.

1. morning wake up >>>> Morning prayer
2. nite b4 sleep >>>>>Bibble reading for 1 chapter & Goodnite Prayer
3. OWes owes Put God at 1st in everythng u do!

with this 3 things u life will have some changes. it true! can feel it! but everythng must come frm ur heart ofcoz. haha~ what i do is for those christian which not owes able to attend church service everyweek like me!

For now... i realize, how God important was in our life! God will help us walk in da right path. =)
hope my lesson can help others out there! God love Us, He will never leave us.

Happy birthday Yangz!!

missing sum1.. haiz... so sad!

his birthday jst passes 5 days ago! i hope i can celebrate wf him, but cant!
i dont evnt dare to sms or greet him. how am i gonna celebrate wf him?
but i hope he is happy now!
hope he has a great birthday too. & may god bless u owes!
Happy Birthday to u! =D
may be u dun evnt know or dont feel wana see or heard bout me.
but i still wana greet u! & i nvr 4gt ur birthday!

Boyz 2 Men - I miss u

Baby I miss You


I've been feeling this emptiness for sometime
Trying make do
But my world has been so crazy
Living without u
I'm a man not ashamed to admit my falls
Now that I know
But the only thing that matters now
I should have never let u go
Now every night before I go to sleep, I pray
That the lord would someday some how
Send u back my way

Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away

Couldn't understand many things in my life
And what u meant to me
Now I'm prepared to be everything that a man Is suppose to be
I don't wanna be alone no more
So then my heart can take it
That weeks have past
Since you've been gone
That I've thought that I could make it
Oh baby
So every night before I go to sleep, I pray
That the lord would one day somehow
Bring u back my way

Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Cause we've come to far to let it slip away
Baby don't know what else to say or do
Its hard to get through every night and everyday
Knowing I had u walk away
Its killing me inside
Feeling so strong I can't hide
So lord help me get through trying times
I'll do anything to have u back in my life

Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it

Baby I miss u
I need to be back in your arms
I've never stopped loving u
My heart is where u belong
Baby I miss u
And for heaven and earth pass away
Lord please show me what to do
Tell me what to say
Cause we've come to far to let it
Baby I miss u

习惯

习惯你的纯在，
习惯你的陪半，
习惯有你的背影，
习惯你的双手，
习惯你的问候, 习惯你每天的短讯
习惯有你的世界 !
不知不觉把"你"变成一种习惯了。。。
变成。。

我的生活习惯！

有时这些都变成我的 坏习惯..
要改也改不掉。。
也许时间可以慢慢的把这些习惯给忘了.
但，现在的我。。。
什么都放不下，改不了，忘不掉！

想念你的每一天从来都没改变过。。你呢？
现在的我只能默默的守护在你身边，
等那时后到了你自然会明白。

Happy 2010

Happy New year To all Bloggers, friends & families!!!

wow.. 2010... is a brand new year, new life, New challenge and NEw mission!
it's been a long time i didnt blog!
starting to get lazy n lazy! haha!
i thnk need to continue this task. Since i started it.
so i mst continue till da end of my life! right?

Now bck to sch at UCSI cheras! sigh! Uni life again loh! n getting poorer n poorer!

coz of da dam sch fees! super exp!
i wana finsh this stdy life ASAP!! so i can lighten my parents burden toward my sch fees!
so in this NEW year i Need work extra harder! really! n i MEant it!!!

haiz... studnt life! not easy also! lol.. but jst can enjoy it! right?
im glad that im able to go to church b4 i leave kch!
God knws wat i need n I know wat my mission as His Children!

really need get my ass start working on it! slur!!

i thnk tat all for tonite!! goodnitez guys! 2mrw new sem start!

p/s: God Bless U all

love,
w3n